Sometimes, it feels like I just don't exist anymore.

Not to the world; they can see me fine. No, just for you.

We grew up together. We laughed, sang, imagined, smiled, cried, got sick, went on adventures--everything. We did it all together. For over 6 years, we were inseparable.

But then...
You stopped playing baseball.
A new neighbor girl caught your attention.
I got jealous.
You started going to public school.
I left for boarding school.
We grew up.
We grew apart.
You moved away.

Remember?
They called us twins all the time.
We would go with your mom to Sam's Club and pretend that dinosaurs were chasing us.
We would hide in the green belt, playing Lord of the Rings in the willow trees.
We would always be partners whenever we played sports in the neighborhood-a "fair" pairing because I was the only girl and you were the best.
We used to play in the basement, pretending that we were hosting sell-out concerts while playing on our pool stick guitars.


I think about you almost every day, and it always makes me wonder if you think about me too.
Does Oregon have the same crisp wind and blue skies that Colorado does?
When I try to call you, do you ignore my calls on purpose?
Does your mom just lie to me when she says that you still care?
Did I ever really matter to you?
Did leaving hurt you too?

Are you afraid of me?

Did I lose my forever-best-friend?